Some Mistakes Cannot Be Mended (Tony x Reader)

NB: You can read ahead if you want but for a little background, you can read the intro here: ajrennertmnt76.deviantart.com/…


"Can't you see I'm busy?"  you yelled over the sound of the rain, directing your voice at Tony behind you on another branch.

"I see you busy wasting your time.  _____, you couldn't have done anything - you didn't know.  There are plans that just go wrong and don't turn out the way you wanted them too.  You kinda just - "  Tony searched for the right words, " - take it all in stride."

Your voice worked into a slow crescendo as you spoke your next few words.  

"Tell me, Tony, how do I take the death of an entire family in stride?"

"Okay, okay.  I'll admit - it was a poor choice of words."  he raised his hands in defence while you straightened your back, making yourself slightly bigger and taller than him (though when you stood next to him, he was a good six inches taller than you).

"This isn't funny, Stark!"  you snapped, "I let a family die.  I let Lily die!  I let her down again.  Why do I keep letting her down, Tony?  How many times can I leave her alone when I could have done so much to help her?"  your voice broke, "I -- I was only trying to help her."

"Help who?"

You angrily turned to face him, punching him straight in the face, "You know who I'm talking about, idiot.  Can't you take this seriously for one second?"

Tony grabbed your wrists when you were trying to hit him and he pulled you towards him, kissing you straight on your lips.  

"What the hell?"  you demanded, pulling away and shoving him away from you.

He shrugged, "That normally works on the ladies."

You were so angry at Tony that you felt a ball of emotion rising up in your chest.  Not knowing what else to do, you burst out into tears, sobbing while rubbing your arms to try and retain heat within your system.  Tony was startled from your sudden change in emotion that he scooted a little further away from you on the branch.  

"Tony, she was there in my arms and she told me that she was scared!  I could have done something, but the mission failed!  It failed and it's all my fault."  you cried out, sobbing even more.  

"Sh*t only Pepper knows how to deal with this."  Tony began to become agitated, looking around and unsure what to do with the mess you were right now, "Okay, um…"

"Lily's my sister."  you spat out.

Complete and utter surprise shone on the Iron Man's face, "What?"



There was a knock on the front door and both you and your little sister, Lily, looked up to the sound.  She had been sitting on your lap while you read her her favourite book 'The Gift of the Magi'.  You never really understood why she loved it when you considered it to be such a sad tale.

It was a story of Mr. James Dillingham or 'Young Jim' and his wife Della buying secret Christmas gifts for each other with the very little money they have.  Jim takes pride in a watch which he owns that was passed down from his grandfather to his father and then to him while Della takes pride in her hair which reaches up to her knees.  On Christmas Eve, they try and look for gifts for each other.  Desperate, Della sells her hair to buy Jim a pocket watch chain while Jim sells his watch to buy her an assortment of expensive hair accessories.  The story ends with Jim not being able to use the chain and Della not being able use the combs but they realise how priceless their love is and the sacrifices they're willing to make to express their love for each other.

Though Lily had argued with you countless times while waving her chubby four year old hands in the air for emphasis, inside you still disliked the story.  

You had just celebrated your 10th birthday and just finished cleaning up after the party.  Many people apologised that your father couldn't make it as he was busy fighting in the name of his country but you simply shrugged it off, repeating that same phrase of 'yes, I'm proud of him - he's my hero'.  But, beneath the smile you wore on your face, you were angry he couldn't make it.  The last time you had seen him was five months back and it was only for a few days when he managed to spare a few days on leave from the army.  

"MUM!"  you shouted, "There's someone at the door!"

Your mother hurried out of the kitchen, still rubbing the kitchen towel on one of the porcelain plates that was used during the party.  From where you and your sister were sitting, you couldn’t see who was at the door but you could see your mother open it with a wide grin on her face.  

Then, her face fell along with the plate from her hands.

The plate shattered upon impact on the floor, porcelain shards flying everywhere.  You used your body to shield Lily and you covered your eyes as well.  The loud noise startled your sister and she began to cry gently.  There were a few cuts on your arm where the pieces of plate had grazed you but that was the least of your worries.  

You got to your feet, lifting Lily up and supporting her butt with the crook of your elbow.  She wrapped her arms around your neck while you carefully navigated towards the door, around the chunks of porcelain and lifted your head to see two soldiers standing at the door with pressed uniforms and glowing white gloves.  They were saluting and looking straight at your mother.  One looked like he was in his thirties while the other one looked like he was in his early twenties.  When the younger one cast a quick glance at you and your sister, his eyes softened and sadness flickered across them for a few seconds.

"Mum?"  your voice cracked and your voice failed you.  

The next word you said was barely audible to the adults around you and the wailing toddler in your arms.  It was like a quick exhale when you murmured it and no one reacted.  No one needed to hear what you said.  They had known what you were going to say long before you had even said it.













"Dad?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Six Years Later

You clasped your hands together while you watched Lily trying to converse with your mother at the mental institute.  It pained you to see your mother at the state she was in and your eleven year old sister wave her hands in her air, as she had always done, to communicate simple messages with her.  After the passing away of your father, she just couldn't cope and you and your sister were forced into foster homes.  Luckily you were now old enough to be classified as an adult and you took her out of the horrible place as soon as you could right after your seventeenth.

Right at that moment, Lily was trying to tell her that both of you were out of the orphanage and free to go.  

There was something that you hadn't told either of them but you weren't ready to tell them at that moment.  Lily was already getting flustered that your mother seemed to show no joyful expression on her face that both of you were out of that awful centre.  

After your father's death, your mother had been contacted by a group named SHIELD.  They had been monitoring you and your sister - something they did to the families of all their agents.

Yes, your father wasn't exactly the army man he had claimed to be.  

After finding out that your father was working undercover as a secret agent, your forced sign ups at multiple martial arts centres, lessons for firing a gun and a plan to send you to a military college all made sense.  If anything were to happen to him, you were destined to take his place.

Though you knew you had a choice to accept or reject the position, there was this underlying expectation that you would take it without any arguments.  It was what your dad wanted.  

In the car, you parked in the carpark of your apartment and helped Lily with the last bits and pieces of her belongings from the orphanage.  While you were in the lift, you subconsciously rubbed the sole of your shoe on the elevator floor.  

"Lily,"  you started, "There's something I want to talk to you about."

--------

"No.  NO!"  Lily snatched her things from your hands, "You are not leaving me!"

"Lily, please try and understand…"

"No!"  Lily yelled and attempted to slap you across the face.  You leaned back just in time to avoid the blow while she continued throwing her tantrum, "You can't leave!"

That moment, you heard a knock on the door.  You stood to open the door and reveal three agents standing there, looking at you expectantly.  One had an eye patch and he smiled at you, "I'm assuming that your silence is the acceptance of our offer."

"My bags are already downstairs in the driveway."

"What??"  your sister demanded, yanking you backwards via your shirt, "Don't I get a say in this?  Please - "  she broke down in front of you, tears streaming down her cheeks, "I can't…"



"'I can't lose you too'.  That's what she said to me before I was whisked away to SHIELD where I met you."  you said softly, the sun shining through the leaves of the tree.

"You probably regret that."

You punched him in the shoulder, "You bet I do.  You're not taking any goddamn word I'm saying seriously."  with that, you wiped the last tears from your face while watching people leave flowers at other graves, "It would have been her birthday today.  Seventeen years old.  Her seventh birthday without me.  What kind of sister am I?"

"_____, you've trusted me your whole life, correct?  And you'd trust me with your life, think that I'd know you as well as the back of my hand?  Value you more than anything else in the world?"  

You nodded at all his questions but then raised your eyebrow in suspicion, "Where are you going with this?"

"I want you to know, that there was nothing you could do.  There are things that go wrong.  Just like you've done in the past, I need you to trust me and believe me when I say, there are some things - some mistakes - that cannot be mended.  You can sit up in this tree for hours and wish that you had saved Lily but you can't bring her back.  But I want you to also know, that there are some mistakes that can be."  Tony looked at your face, knowing that that had been one of the most heartfelt things that he had ever said to you for the entire time that he had known you, "Can I get another, proper kiss this time?"  he asked, raising his eyebrow and smirking at you.

"Go to hell."

There was a soft crack that you heard and Tony let out a small panicked noise before the branch he was hanging onto gave way, making him tumble down twenty feet of the tree.

"You deserved that!"  you shouted after him, leaning slightly so you could see him lying flat on his back, leaves twirling down after him.

"I know."

You jumped down and leaned over him, smiling at him.  You grabbed his shirt and pulled him up to you into a proper kiss.